Looking Beyond Sleep – Am a Mother!
Functioning with inadequate sleep yet carrying a smile is something only a Mother is wired to do. She sacrifices every bit of her rest and finds solace when her baby sleeps. She holds her angel in her aching arms for hours and feels the ultimate peace and completeness.
A mother’s love for her child has no law, no pity and crashes down all that stands in its path” – Agatha Christie
Diagnosed with motherhood-
You are in hibernation mode amid a congested market, you have just snoozed off with your head resting on your palm, even a minute of closed eyes seems like a siesta, your favorite music has turned into noise, and getting good eight-hour sleep is a dream. If you have these signs then you are diagnosed with motherhood.
Along with being gifted the most precious jewel of your life, you are also complimented with some uninvited guests like sleepless nights, exhaustive days, running the race behind your toddler, finishing the never-ending to-do tasks, frustration, forgetfulness, etc.
How Important is sleep –
Sleep is an important factor in human growth, repair, and healing. Ongoing sleep deficiency can have major health impacts. Researches have proven that after the birth of a child the sleep duration has been reduced for mothers by 1-hour average and fathers by 15 minutes average.
Now it is also quite obvious that this sleeplessness is higher in the mother than the father for many reasons. It could be because the mother holds higher accountability, responsibility or breastfeeding at a regular interval, etc.
Sleep shortage occurs due to lack of time, too many responsibilities; baby starts crying just as the mother enters the bed, two hourly feeds required, changing nappies and so on. Ironically, there are times when none of this happens yet the mother finds it hard to sleep. Her mind is still not at rest. She is still thinking of those unfinished tasks of dirty laundry, unclean kitchen, pending courier and grocery shopping.
However, there is an inviolable law in our emotional segment which takes pride with the increasing level of tolerance to stress. The higher the tolerance the greater the pride. We are taught to admire those who are under high stress. And so you would often see mothers taking pride in going sleepless or their highly stressed and exhaustive stage.
This also leads you to receive advice like –
“Sleep when the baby sleeps, you have to work your way around the baby now”
“I have learned to survive with just two hours of sleep. My focus is always my baby”
“You are at least sleeping for 4 hours. I survived with lesser”
Tips to improve your sleep –
Firstly, we request all mothers to not pay attention to this advice (mentioned above). Sleep deprivation can be physically and emotionally strenuous. Stop depending on those coffee cups to keep yourself awake. Grumbling, forgetfulness, and frustration can be avoided.
1) Silence your greatest Critic – “You” – Most importantly; before we go further moms need to stop feeling guilty. We illogically relate good sleep to not giving attention to our baby. Remember, if you are not attentive, active and energetic you would only provide quantity time and not qualitative time to your baby.
2) What you resist persists- If there is something you do not want to do, act or deal with simply deny. Moms, learn to say “No”. Remember saying ‘no’ is as easy as saying a ‘yes’ as it gets you to do things voluntarily and not for obligation hence reducing the to-do-list. Merely resisting doesn’t help. You need to voice out what you do not want and you will be at much peace and definitely get enough time to get that beauty sleep.
3) Husbands Trained – A critical step is to train your husband. A readymade supportive husband is not something usual. You have to persistently train him to be able to handle those small tasks, babysit and support you so you can catch up with your precious sleep.
4) Learn to Prioritize– Learn how to differentiate between the important tasks and inessential ones. Draw a line as to which battles are worth fighting and which are to be left alone.
5) Ask for Help – Multi-tasking is a skill most women have. However, we don’t need to prove this by carrying the entire baggage on your shoulders. Ask for help or at least accept help when offered. If you can, please go ahead and hire a nanny or a helper.
Keep in mind, your baby needs you more than anything in this world. And you can give your best only if you are healthy and awake. Catch up with your sleep and ensure that you spend quality time with your little one. Capture every moment which will never come back.